Acolytes & Disciples


From time to time we open up the hallowed doors to allow guests to spend an evening with us, seeing what we do and partaking of the various excesses on offer.  These folks occasionally graduate to full-on members, depending on many factors, but more often than not they are simply brought in to bring a little something extra to a particular occasion.  Either way…they’ve all become a part of what makes this club what it is. 

let me introduce ’em…


Maltmonster – Anonymous bastard that he is (well…not really, but we pretend), this man always brings something unique to the table.  Usually it is a stunning malt of great vintage, but no less frequently it is his acerbic wit, penchant for blackmail and insistence that God is Irish.  I know, I know.  Why bring in someone with such obvious handicaps?  Well…if you met the man you’d understand.  I once introduced him as the ‘piss in my pants’.  Say no more.  Maltmonster is a great guy.  He’s a sort of member-in-the-wings; coming out when time permits and the tale lures.  So be it.  His occasional presence looms large enough to make us concede him as our pnly accepted part time member.  If you want a better idea of who this cat is, feel free to check out some of his jottings at  (Guest of Curt)

Chris Graham – Chris is an old friend, and in November of 2010 graduated from guest to full member (wow…those two words should never be written side-by-side, should they?), eight months after coming out for his first meetings.  We met while working together years back, slinging watered down drinks and overpriced food in a sh*tty restaurant.  We hit it off with common interests such as hockey, music, books and a love of all things intellectual.  Chris is now in the same boat as I am (and a few of the other Liquorature guys are), with two wee ones at home to fill his days.  (Guest of Curt)

Keenan “The Bear” Healey – Keenan and I have been quaffing beer and drinking rum for many years now, having started our conversations over coffee in the Timmy’s at the Telus building and gradually moving on to better vintages.  Keenan is a master of the Reality Distortion Field, because he looks so absolutely harmless. My mythical friend is so low key that you get suckered by the soft spaniel eyes and the deceptive, easygoing, aw-shucks delivery; you find yourself nodding sympathetically and in full agreement, and buy into a specious argument…and then when you’re home you say “Hang on a minute, what the hell just happened?” and realize you just got taken. Sharp, well-read, knowledgeable and older than I am, though not  at Bob’s stage of geriatricity…but also an engineer, which should warm Bob’s heart right up. (Guest of Lance) (written by Lance)

Toli – Unquestionably the quietest, most reserved and polite guest we’ve ever had swelling the ranks at one of our gatherings, Toli was also the perfect gent.  He withstood the barrage of overt testosterone-fueled drinking and held his own in conversation.  Oh yeah…and he held his own in terms of liquor.  If memory serves, Toli may have made it out to a second event.  If not, I do believe he was invited at least, as a guest of Clint.  (Guest of Lance)

Loren Andrae – (Guest of Pat)

Dan Clermont – (Guest of Curt)

Stuart McPherson – (Guest of Curt)

Danny Frache – (Guest of Curt)

Jesse Graham – (Guest of Chris)

Daniel Norris – (Guest of Curt)

Mike Long – (Guest of Robert)


 Posted by at 3:58 am

  16 Responses to “Acolytes & Disciples”

  1. Hello – Curt thought that it would be a good idea for myself to introduce… myself! My name is Chris, and had the pleasure to be meeting Curt through our former employer Tony Romas. Some of you may remember me as the guy who won a hockey pool on the back of Jonathan Cheechoo’s 50+ goal season. No hard feelings….

    I wanted to provide you a little background information about myself so that I am not a total stranger when we first meet. I am a native Calgarian, currently employeed with BMO as a Financial Planner. Married, have 2 childern – one that is 2.5, the other 7 months.

    When Curt told me about your group, I had to ask to be a part of something that talks about books. Not that I want to write book reviews, but am looking for the opporunity to get out and discuss in a mature manor books that I am reading other than Winnie the Pooh. Currently many of my friends idea of reading novels involves picutres or book on tape. I do read quite alot with some of my favorite authors being George Orwell, Salman Rushdie, Tom Wolfe and Michael Chabon.

    I have not been much of a Whiskey drinker since I was in my 20s, and mostly with a bottle of Canadian Club, I do look forward to learning first hand the finer things of Whiskey drinking.

    I look forward to our first meeting and meeting all of you! Hopefully in time, my status can be increased from Occasional Travaler!

  2. Hola, amigo! First ‘outsider’ to post on here. Welcome to the site. Hope you drop by and post a bunch. Though we converse about these books and bevvies over our gatherings, the point is to incite conversation. Hope you dive in and navigate the sh*t outta this place.

    For the Liquorature lads…as mentioned…Chris is the one I have mentioned having sit in for a session a few times over the last couple of months. This next meet (“Wizard’s First Rule”) will finally be an opportunity to make it a reality.

    Now if only we could get “Keenan” out…

    Anyway…Chris will be there for the April 30th meet.

    Hey Ostby…how you feel about Cheechoo?

  3. Cheechoo is a godforsook ignus fatuus. He really is, I’m not kidding.

  4. There’s such a thing as a native Calgarian still left in Calgary? Wow. Now we really have to have you in the group 🙂

  5. Keenan will probably make an appearance on an occasion when I am host, since I’ve asked him to come. He begs leave to inform Curt that he will bring a bottle of Coruba just for him 🙂

  6. Hahaha! Can’t wait. Both for this vile swill and to meet the elusive figure himself.

    Keenan…you out there? Though I like to think that Lance is somewhat of an elitist in regard to those he chooses to associate with, his ties to this club speak otherwise. As you’ve already threatened to poison me with fermented cane juice, I imagine you’ll fit in just fine here.


  7. @Chris Graham
    To be honest, I thought native Calgarians were either a dying species, or already extinct. Rumour (never proved) has it that those that remain are in Fort Mac somewhere. A real live one in the wild…this is a phenomenon that just has to be seen.

    Before the resident peatheads get you all wrapped up in their Speysiders, Lowland variations and obscure micro-malts from Argyll (along with long and boring treatises on exactly how to hold the (expensive) Barbie glass and flex the snoot in order to smell better and taste miniscule variations in oak), please note that as the Lone Lover of Rum, it is my duty to give you the happy news that there are alternatives avalaibale to you which are miles better than the obscure northern waters masquerading as serious drinks.

  8. @Lance

    Sigh. So says the guy who drowns his drink in Cola.

    One day you’ll have that ‘mortality moment’. Y’know what I mean…the atheist on his deathbed who finally embraces god.

    Your moment will be the reallization of squandered moments sipping rum that could have been spent basking in the warmth of whisky.

    Alas…fear not…I’ll be there to comfort you in these dark times…with a glass of cask strength.

  9. What you really mean is that you’ll toast my demise with the cask strength and mutter to the Club “At least now that the heretic is gone we won’t have to hear so much damned blather about rums any longer.”

    I think after writing that depressing note, I’ll comfort myself with some EH25. A glass perhaps. Maybe three.

  10. Bah. Grave dancing is not my thing.

    By the time you kick it, we’ll be those old guys from ‘The Breathing Method’ (Stephen King) with our exclusive club and bizarre rituals. You will have mellowed with age, sport a sassy cul-de-sac ‘do, and given up on the syrup in favor of a dram which won’t have contributed to the rotting of your last tooth.

    Perhaps we’ll occasionally let you tot in your EH25 in a dusty old haversack for memories of the early days of Liquorature. We’ll see. 😉

  11. I think having our first guest was a blast.

    Looking forward to ‘Keenan’, the sock puppet putting in an appearance at some point too.

    Lance…want to drop in a couple lines in the original post above about him? Just something short and sweet.

  12. Our last guest was welcome indeed, not least because of what he brought…and left behind. Thanks from all of us.

    I’ve updated the main text to add the MM to the slowly growing list.

    • Indeed – many, many thanks MaltMonster!

      It was great to finally get you out to one of our gatherings. Hope that you enjoyed your evening!

  13. Well, what can I say? (not that that was going to happen). I’ll start with Clint and say thank you for opening your wonderful home and inviting me as a guest . I know I told you I expected you to reimburse me $9.61 for the price the book, well I was wrong, I forgot the GST, so it’s actually $10.09. I did however have a great time, so make it an even ten dollars and call it a “good time” discount .

    As for the gathering itself, I do feel the need to be honest with you and say I didn’t know if I was walking into some sort of weird cult thing where I might be asked to drink Jim Jones Kool-Aid or participate in some sort of intoxicated rum dance. Instead I found great conversation, interesting and knowledgeable people with a balanced approach to deviant behaviour. I‘m not sure of the reference I heard most of the night about a wild dog of Australia named “Man” or “Man the little Dingo” as some referred to it by, but maybe someday I’ll be enlightened. The book was an interesting read and fun to talk about, but more important I now can prove to my Whisky friends that I can in fact read!

    The drink choices for the evening were a Bunnahabhain , a Macallan ( sherry ), a peated version of Arran and some rum and yes it did have a label . The whiskies were an excellent choice and I enjoyed them all . The rum however, proved a bit challenging as I found it a little weak or lacking , without resilience , one would almost say it was “FLACCID” and Lance, please feel free to correct me if you think I’m right . Lance did however make up for this by supplying a decent ( oxymoron I know ) rum named English Harbour 25 year old #5712 and giving a generous heel of it to me to take home .

    To the members of Liquorature … thanks for a great evening! Also, if you find my wallet , which I’m sure I had when I went there , please let me know .


  14. Lance – Please advise if I may include the take on ADO151 as I have done here. I was Air America in Laos and Vietnam from 1962 to 1975 [[http://
    and the noted “DO” is still talked about. We are having a reunion in Dayton, Ohio the first of June, and articles such as this are placed in our Memoirs folder.
    If the way it is – is acceptable to you, Thanks // if Not, let me know // if you wish changes – change away.
    Shoot me an email /////////// E G

    Concerning my Barrel of Jamaican Rum / Saigon – 1967

    After returning from my Mongoose stint in Jamaica, with a taste for Appleton Dark 151 Overproof rum, I ordered a 40 gallon wooden barrel of said nectar from the Appleton plantation in St. Elizabeth, Jamaica. After about 2 months, I was notified that the barrel had arrived in Hong Kong – in custody of the J. Wray & Nephew office in Causeway Bay on Hong Kong Island – and was awaiting my retrieval. Within days, the Gods were with me and I was scheduled to fly a C-46 to Tainan, Taipei for maintenance. This allowed me to arrange to pick up the barrel en route back to my then base in Saigon, Vietnam. All went smooth – the rum was stashed in my garage – a bung was fabricated – and a notice was placed behind the bar at the embassy – the Cosmos Club [named after a famous establishment in D.C.] – and the following Saturday a “to be remembered” shindig erupted at my house. I had in place – a 50 kilo piece of ice – 10 kilos of lemons – 40 tin cups – and one Coke. The garage door was open – my houseboy Chan was in place at the Tap – and as each person came through the gate he chipped some ice into a cup – squeezed a ¼ piece of lime onto the ice – and topped the cup with rum. Merriment soon was evident in all quarters. One incident of note was the Hungarian ambassador to the ICCS [*1] turning to a CIA operative [Mike N.] and asking “Who are you with sir”. The reply was a very loud – “I work for the C I A”. When some of Mike’s friends tried to quiet him down – he continued “Hell – they got me over here building schools, they should want the world to know that”. Later, Mike was reprimanded, and blamed me for his problem.
    Anyway, ADO151 has quite a coterie of aficionados, one of whom “Lance” wrote in “Liquorature” : [*2]
    So that is my contribution to the ADO151 mystique. Go pick up a bottle – enjoy – and let me know your thoughts ///////////////// E G
    *1 — I met the ambassador one rainy afternoon at Dalat/Lien Khuong airport while eating a bowl of noodles and waiting for my airplane to be off-loaded. He approached me – introduced himself – noted that that weather was very bad – opined that the due Air Vietnam aircraft would most likely not make it in – and if I would be so kind a to take him and his aide to Saigon. He seemed like a nice chap so I agreed – no problem. After take-off, I remained below the clouds and scudded along a few hundred feet above the trees headed west over the hills. In that some of the area we were flying over was known Bad Guy territory – I started chuckling to myself and was observed doing so by the Ambassador who was standing and leaning on the back of my seat. I noted to him that we were overhead some of the area controlled by the Viet Cong – that sometimes they did shoot at planes flying over their area – and what a Hoot it would be if we got shot down and his and my bodies were found side-by-side in the wreckage. He then noted that if that came about – at least he and I would get some notice in the history books and it sure would cause a lot of questions to be raised in Budapest and Washington.
    *2 – Liquorature is an on-line site of “Whiskey, Words, Wit” – professing to be “A Man’s Book Club Done Right”. Check it out, it is interesting.

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